“I Pledge Allegiance…”

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and justice for all.”

When I was a kid in school we recited the pledge every single day. It was such a fun day when it was my turn to say it over the intercom for the whole school. I’d walk down to the office before the morning bell rang and would stand by the special phone, the office lady would start the general announcements and then hand it over to me and a classmate who would say the pledge while the whole school stood with a hand over their heart and recited it. 

Skip forward 20 years, I’m now a teacher in a school and I’m lucky if I can get one student in my class to stand with me as we say the pledge. It’s surprising to me how little students seem to respect our country’s pledge. But then again as I really read through it, maybe it’s not so surprising. 

To me, our pledge meant something. I truly believed (and still believe in some ways) that America was the greatest country. July 4 is my favorite holiday and during the Olympics and World Cup I’m Team USA all the way! I believed our country was one nation, that our leaders and people were guided under God, that we were indivisible and that we did give liberty and justice for all.

In the last few years though, our pledge has lost its meaning and seemingly just become words that we repeat out of habit and not belief. When September 11 happened, our country banded together. We may not all have had the same opinions on whether President Bush’s action were what we would have done, but it didn’t keep us from helping our neighbor. People from all over fled to New York to help. Churches held prayer vigils and Americans rallied around our troops and first responders. We really were ONE Nation who bonded together making us seem indivisible.

Today, we are far from that. This isn’t a political blog so I won’t go into any specific topic but seriously pick any one and you’ll find the same patterns. There are two completely different sides, each having no reasoning ability to hear anyone out. 

Our country is so full of extremely passionate individuals, which is a wonderful thing when used for good, but when we’re passionate without the ability to listen, digest, and make sensible arguments or debates then there truly will never be any progress forward. We end up talking in circles causing more and more division. We no longer are ONE nation, we’re a bunch of individuals wanting things done their own way. And let’s face it, we’re never going to get Billons of people to see things the same way, but we can get them to learn how to have healthy conflict again. How to have a disagreement with their neighbor and still be friends. How to vote differently than their coworkers and still stay at that job. I truly believe that one day we can become ONE nation that is indivisible again, here’s how…

In between those two phrases, “one Nation” and “indivisible” is a guidance map for how to keep us connected together, to bring liberty and justice for all. We do so by being “Under God”. I’m not talking about being under the religious umbrella of Christianity, but truly being under God. This means living our lives under the guidance of his teaching and commands, the greatest of these being Love God & Love Others. 

Loving God can look a lot of ways. It can look like helping those in need, attending church on Sundays or singing worship music in the car. One of the best ways I’ve found though is through rest. I’m not talking about taking a nap, but rather taking a day to enjoy what has been done instead of craving to do more. When I take time to walk through a park and enjoy the sunshine or sit at a coffee shop and read a good book, I find I’m so much closer to God. I’m reminded that the world can turn for a day without me trying to accomplish anything. I’m reminded of all God has created and marvel at the wonder of what he’s made. And at the end of the day I’m reminded that a loving God gave us so much purpose and beauty in life and that he has everything under control. I as an individual don’t need to try and control life or people or politics. We have an almighty God who has it handled. Yes he uses us in wonderful ways to help fulfill those purposes but he also wants us to rest and reflect and find time to pause to enjoy what he’s made and already done. 

The second thing we can do is love others. Sadly I feel this has become a lost art in America. If someone doesn’t believe the same as you or if they messed up (and let’s be real we’re all human so we’re going to mess up) we cancel them. Where has the ability to love those with difference gone? We can never grow as individuals or as a society if we don’t hear people out. If we truly want to be one nation that is indivisible we must get back to loving our neighbor. Let’s invite people who are different than us, who have different political viewpoints or different cultural beliefs to have dinner around our table. Let’s invite healthy discussion and disagreements into our homes. Let’s have real conversations not social media comments and start to find what we have in common as a society. 

Can we head into this July 4th weekend looking for ways to celebrate the good in the world? Let’s put our differences aside and enjoy the fireworks and cookouts and baseball games with our neighbors. Let’s learn to love those who are different from us and let’s watch our country bond together again. I believe we are a great nation and I believe God has blessed us as a country, but if we want to be able to stand up and say the pledge every morning with belief that it is true, then America, we’ve got some work to do. 

Jesus, Politics & How Christians Get it Wrong.

Jesus was weird. The more time I spend in the Gospels reading about his time here on Earth, the more I realize just how weird he was. Yet, he was effective. He went against the grain, flipped tables, hung out with sinners, but was respected by many. He gained a following, not because he was indifferent and haphazard with his beliefs, but because he was strong and firm. Jesus stood for love, for justice, for grace. He stood for people.

Every. Single. Person.

Today, we stand for many things. We stand for sports teams, players, Political groups, religious affiliations, and even which tv show is the best. As Christians, we claim to stand for Christ, yet I have a hard time truly believing we do.

You see, when Jesus walked the earth He made a difference. Not because he was so into being right, but because he loved people so well. People of all ages, racial groups, political affiliations, genders, they flocked to Jesus. Why? Because he cared. Because they mattered. Because He saw their worth.

Today, we stand in a world much like the first century Jews did. A world where groups of people are oppressed, where political tensions are high, and where drastic sides are taken on almost every issue. Jesus came to bridge the gap, to bring people together, yet today, people are tearing each other apart and saying it’s in Jesus name. How have we fallen so far?

Luckily, Jesus gave us a handbook. A guide to how to get along with those we disagree with. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before, but just for memory sake, I’ll walk you through a couple stories to bring the point home.

Let’s start with looking at Jesus’ inner group of disciples. In the Gospels, there is a list of all 12 of them. I want to highlight two. Levi called Matthew, the tax collector and Simon the Zealot. Many times, I’ve read over this list and just skimmed by the fact that those two disciples had their jobs mentioned. I mean, everyone knew James, John and Peter were fisherman, so why did it matter that Levi/Matthew was a tax collector? And what in the world is a Zealot?

As I started listening to some podcasts and researching more about it, I realized, like everything in the Bible, there was intentionality in their descriptions. You see, a tax collector was a worker for the Roman government. The prestigious government of the time. They had friends in high places and made their money dishonestly, yet were pretty protected by the Roman government. Then you have the Zealots. They were the other political party of the day. But instead of peacefully rising up to have their voice heard, they were known for sneak attacks and violent killings of Roman government. (Information gathered from Matt Smallbone on the Anything’s Possible Podcast: Episode 059).

Let me say that again. Matthew cheated people of money for the sake of politics. Simon sneak attack killed people for the sake of government. And BOTH were in Jesus’ inner group of twelve disciples. Talk about political differences.

I’m sure Matthew didn’t like Simon, and Simon didn’t like Matthew, but you know what the amazing thing is, the Bible never mentions arguments between the two. And honestly, I wouldn’t put it past Jesus to have sent them out on escapades together when He sent them in groups of two. Seeing two people on such radically different ends of the political spectrum coming together to share the Good News, you know how great of a testimony that would have been to towns? To see them walking in grace and love towards one another, probably still not seeing eye to eye politically but realizing there was a much bigger purpose in life.

Simon seems to be a guy who had to be passionate about what He did. To be a Zealot was no small feat, but can you imagine what he must have accomplished when he shifted that passion towards Jesus? What if we did that? What if we took the political passion we have today, the riots we start in the name of justice, the arguments we have to be right in, and just turn the passion to loving others like Jesus loved? What could you accomplish?

Jesus didn’t just stop with His twelve disciples though, he took it a step further. In Luke 8, we see that Jesus had some prominent women in his followers and disciple group. Now these women weren’t prominent because they mattered to the community. In fact, in those days, women had little place in society. If their husband died, they couldn’t get a job or earn an income, they were completely dependent on others for their care. Yet, these women mattered to Jesus.

Countless times in the Bible, Jesus had women play a part in his ministry. He didn’t care that women were considered unimportant or invaluable. To him, they were important and they had great value. So much so that when he rose from the dead, the first people he saw were women! He was countercultural yet completely Heavenly focused.

Today, women have found their place in society. They have jobs and hold prestigious positions, including one as our new Vice President. But there are still some groups of people who are devalued in a way. Whether it’s refugees, African-Americans, the poor, the unborn or any other debated group, they are still fighting a battle Jesus came to eliminate.

As Christians, it’s our job to carry on the work of Christ. To bring those who society devalues into our circles. To love them, value them, and show them they matter. Regardless of their background or current circumstance, our position is to be one of grace and love.

This past Sunday, Pastor Kevin Queen gave a wonderful sermon reminding us of some of these points. (I highly encourage you listen to the whole thing here). In this sermon he also reminded us that “A mark of an unbelieving generation is that they argue more than they pray.” I’ll say it again for the people in the back, “A mark of an unbelieving generation is that they argue more than they pray.” Did Jesus argue? In a way yes. Did Jesus pray? Absolutely.

What if as a generation, we took more time to pray than we did to argue? What if we prayed for those in the Oval Office? For our school leaders and community administrators. What if we stopped complaining and arguing about the things around us and started doing something about them in a way that is proven to actually make a difference? Take some time to pray, I mean really pray for those you oppose. See them as a person that God sees, pray that they would lead with wisdom and grace and find a way to bring our communities and our country back together again.

I want to make one more point about Jesus’ disciples before I wrap up. You know Judas Iscariot? The well known betrayer of Jesus. Well Jesus loved him too. So much so, that in Matthew 26 verse 50, Judas comes to betray Jesus. There is a whole army of people there to surround him and arrest him and you know what Jesus does? He calls Judas friend. Can you believe that? The man who was literally handing Jesus over to be lead like a lamb to the slaughter house, Jesus could look at and call friend.

I’m no biblical scholar, but I did take some time to really dive into the original meaning of the word friend that was used here. I wanted to know if it was just some greeting we misinterpreted or if he really meant it. In the original Greek it is known to be used for someone who is a “comrade, a friend (a good friend) or a partner.” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon Definition in the Blue Letter Bible App). So Jesus really meant it. Even though he was being betrayed and he knew the suffering ahead, He still looked at Judas like a friend, a good friend.

What a powerful thought. Jesus loved his enemies as his friends, and he didn’t just say it, he put it into practice. Jesus knew Judas would betray him, but he let him be in his circle anyway. Jesus brought unusual people together and gave them a common goal to strive for. He brought value to those society so easily threw away.

Jesus wasn’t an ordinary guy, he was countercultural and handed out grace and love to those he met. Christians today are so far from who Jesus was and is. We argue, waving our political agendas in the name of Jesus. We crush others to get to the top while thinking of all the people we can impact once we’re there. We love those who can love us back and hate those who differ in opinion. Honestly, we’re no better than the religious leaders of Jesus’ day.

But that can change.

I challenge you today to go love like Jesus did. To reach out to the broken expecting nothing in return. To make peace with those on the opposite side of the table. To value your neighbor in the city and to value your neighbor in the country. To love the janitor as well as you love the CEO. I challenge you to read the Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke & John. To spend time with Jesus and to learn how to really walk like him.

Wearing the badge of Christianity isn’t something to be taken lightly. It’s not easy, it’s countercultural. If you’re doing it right, people will dislike you, think you’re weird, and maybe even cast you aside. Heck, they threw Jesus on a cross and killed all but one of his disciples, and the one that lived was banished to a deserted island. Yet, each of them entered the kingdom with great welcome because they loved God and others well.

Don’t be a lukewarm Christian, ever changing with the political tides of the day. Don’t lose sight of what God says because it doesn’t seem politically correct to say today. Love others well, but hold your ground, gracefully and respectfully, and then if necessary, flip a few tables.

Leave this post today and go take your faith seriously, because God does. Love God, love others. That’s it.

Do you really deserve it?

Have you ever given a gift to someone and instead of them saying “thank you” or showing appreciation for the gift, they take it as if it was something they always deserved and you were just finally getting around to giving it to them? If you have, you understand how frustrating this is, if you haven’t, I assure you, live long enough and you will.

Blame participation trophies, government handouts, or whatever you wish, but our culture and generation has started to believe everything is entitled to them. They don’t need to work or earn anything. It’s the “I got a degree, so now I deserve a bosses paycheck” mentality and it’s ripping apart the work ethic and the gratitude of our society.

Unfortunately, the issue of entitlement and lack of gratitude isn’t a new issue. It may have been classified as something different back in Biblical times, but in Luke 17:11-19, Jesus faces the same issue:

¹¹ Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. ¹² As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy^[a] met him. They stood at a distance ¹³ and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” ¹⁴ When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. ¹⁵ One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. ¹⁶ He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. ¹⁷ Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? ¹⁸ Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” ¹⁹ Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

In this story, Jesus saw the men with leprosy and had pity on them — they weren’t entitled to healing, they didn’t work for healing, they simply were blessed with Jesus’ pity and love. Yet, only one of the ten returned to say thank you for the gift of healing he had been given. Jesus saved these ten men from being outcasts in their society, they were able to rejoin their families and friends. They could be a part of the working class again and no longer have to beg for a livelihood. Not only did Jesus give them healing, he restored their status and their families, yet they still did not say thank you.

What I find interesting is the one that did come back and say thank you was a foreigner. Back in the times of Jesus, the Samaritans were despised by the Jews, so as Jesus healed the men, I wonder how many were Jews and how many were Samaritans. Did this man come back and say thank you because he knew Jesus was a Jew and therefore it was even more of a statement and miracle that Jesus chose to have grace on him? No one would have questioned Jesus’ choice to heal the Jews, but a Samaritan was a whole other story. Maybe the others felt they were entitled to Jesus’ healing powers, after all, if they’re of same cultural backgrounds they were supposed to have an upper hand in society. But does that make it right to ignore the gift given and go on without gratitude?

Do we as American’s tend to feel entitled to all that is given to us? As Christians do we just figure since we prayed the prayer once we are entitled to the grace given and forget to say thank you to Christ for his sacrifice and his daily grace? Or do we truly appreciate every gift that is given to us? Do we have an attitude of gratitude, never letting an act of service or a gift be given without a thank you?

Honestly, it’s easy to get into a rhythm of entitlement. Our society surrounds us with images and messages that we deserve everything and it’s our right to have what we want. But God’s society teaches us to live life knowing we deserve nothing, yet are given everything because of God’s grace, mercy, and love for us.

Jonah 4 is another perfect example of our entitled mindset. In this chapter of the book, Jonah is sitting in the hot desert sun, God provides a source of shade for him to sit under, but then some bugs come along and eat the leaves causing the plant to no longer provide shade. Jonah becomes furious with God because he no longer has shade and once again is out in the blistering sun. Yet what did Jonah do to deserve the shade? Instead of seeing the shade as a gift from God that was graciously given and can be taken away at any time, Jonah felt he was entitled to the shade and it was God’s duty to provide it to him.

If you don’t believe you’re living an entitled life, think through these few examples:

Your janitor takes out your trash every day, they miss a day because they were busy doing something else…do you help them out and take out your own trash or do you get frustrated because they didn’t find the time to take it out? When was the last time you thanked the janitor for keeping the office clean?

You’re on a team and your team goes out for dinner or for an activity, do you gratefully appreciate wherever they chose to go, or do you complain because it’s not the exact place you wanted to go? Do you complain about the driving of the coaches or do you appreciate the money spent on getting a car so the team gets to go out on fun adventures and isn’t stuck in the hotel all weekend?

When you continue to pray a prayer, but God choses to respond in a different way than you asked, are you appreciative for the response and thankful for a God who cares enough to listen, or do you get upset and abandon your faith because you felt entitled to the result you didn’t get?

Whatever it is you feel you are entitled to, realize everything in this life is a gift. We aren’t entitled to God’s grace, His grace is a gift given to us. If He choses to extend judgement instead of grace, we shouldn’t be upset because we don’t deserve anything but judgement.

So please stop living an entitled life. Live a life full of gratitude. If someone does something for you, say thank you. Say thank you a hundred times a day, to the cashier, the waitress, the janitor, to whomever it is you tend to take for granted. Don’t be like Jonah or the nine ungrateful lepers. Be thankful for the shade and the healing God has given you, and if it’s taken away, say thank you for the time it was given. Be grateful and see everything as a gift. I promise you, your life will become a million times brighter when you do.

The Journey Through Change

Change isn’t always easy. Yes some people thrive off change, the new excitements, the new memories, and the chance to restart wherever you go. Others hate change, it causes anxiety, stress, and the thought of having to restart somewhere new seems like the end of the world. For me, I’m somewhere in the middle. I love to meet new people, make new friends, and have a clean slate to start from, but the thought of leaving the people I’ve met and come to love in the places I’ve lived cause extreme heartbreak.

This past year and a half I’ve lived in Richmond, VA — I’m not gonna lie, it’s been an extremely challenging year and a half. I’ve had two failed relationships, left an internship for a job that was different than I originally thought, went through a cycle of friendships before I was able to settle in, and even transitioned churches because I just didn’t feel at home. But among all those challenges I’ve met some of the most incredible people, friends who poured into me, challenged me, and helped me grow through the process. I’ve gotten to know a group of volleyball girls who I’ve grown to love spending time with and investing in, making this move more difficult than I originally thought.

As I get ready to move I think through the past moves I’ve made in my life and what’s helped me transition well. Through every up and down, every place I’ve lived, I realize it’s always about the people. The people is what makes moving hard but it’s also what makes moving exciting. A year and a half ago, I didn’t know any of the people I’ve grown to love here in RVA even existed. A year and a half ago, Richmond was just a place on the map we learned about in history class. Now it’s a place that will always have a piece of my heart, not because the city was so amazing, but because of the people who took time to invest in a midwestern girl who was starting off on her own.

God calls us to love people — yes the city is important, the structures are cool, and the sports are fun, but the people are what makes a place purposeful. Everything we are called to do in a city revolves around loving the people of that city. As I’ve learned that, I’ve started to understand that if God calls me to move, I need not be upset or frustrated. He’s calling me to love the city/country/state he’s put me in until he calls me to move and love someplace else. This home is temporary, our real home is in Heaven and when the earth becomes a mere place to make relationships geared towards Christ and not a possession to hold onto, it can completely shift our perspective on change from one of fear and uncertainty to one of joy and excitement.

Whenever I start to get really upset about the changes happening around me, or am chillin in my room crying because of the people I’m leaving, I’m reminded of the journey and life of Paul. Paul lived his life on the road. We get to experience and learn so much through his letters, but do you ever sit and think about the fact that the reason he had to write letters was because he wasn’t with the people in person? Paul constantly reminds the churches of his love for them, read any of his letters (the 13 Epistles) and you’ll see his unique investment to each group of people making up the church in that city. Paul missed the friends he made along the way, but it never stopped him from pursuing the life God had called him too. He didn’t resist change or resent God for making him leave again, but instead he used each and every opportunity to make an impact on the place he was in. He kept in touch with the people he left and invested in the people he was with. It allowed him to make an impact that God has continued to use through today. If Paul had told God “No, I’m not moving again, I like these friends here too much” then we might never have had the “Roman Road” or the book of Ephesians (one of my personal favorites). Instead, Paul wrote in Philippians 2:17, “But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice of service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all.” Through physical suffering and emotional pain, through shipwrecks, sickness, loss of friends, and years of traveling, Paul found unrelenting strength through his faith.

As I move and am heartbroken to leave the people of RVA, I’m challenged and excited to invest in the people of Ada, MI. I will have the opportunity to be back with my immediate and extended family and given the time to invest in those relationships. I have college friends I’ll get to reconnect with, and high school friends I’ll be closer too. There’s a church I’ve been following from afar who I’m excited to finally call home. Yes I’m leaving a wonderful group of people, friends who’ve become family, and volleyball girls that will forever be like my little sisters, but God’s shown me both through life and through scripture that He is with us wherever we go. At times it might not be clear as to why our path is leading where it is, as I’m sure Paul was a little confused at times while sitting in jail or experiencing another shipwreck, but God never fails. He will come through no matter what the change is we’re facing.

So as I leave this place I rejoice in the memories, learn from the pain, and thank God for the opportunity to meet the people I have. And for as long as I live I will stand by the words of Isaiah 6:8:

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Contagiously Beautiful

Scrolling through Instagram you pass by hundreds of pictures. Proms, graduations, summer vacations, perfect couples, flawless selfies, you name it, it’s there. At first it’s a harmless scroll, killing time while you wait for the next thing in your day. But then…. the “I wish..” downward spiral begins.

“I wish my hair looked as good as hers”

“I wish I had a boyfriend as good as hers, or even a boyfriend at all.”

“I wish I had a body that was summer ready all the time like her.”

“I wish….”

Whatever you “wish” you start comparing to your life, and not only comparing, but criticizing. Before you know it you’re harmless time killer is now a mood killer and an attitude bringer.

We all do this — maybe it’s not on Instagram and maybe it’s not as obvious but we do it. We’re human, we compare, we find flaws, and we hone in on those, forgetting how beautifully and wonderfully made we are.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” but honestly, that’s only one side of beauty — it’s how we, as the beholder, see it. What if we changed the phrase to “beauty IS the eye of the beholder”. By taking out the “in” we change the phrase from us having our own opinions and excuses for what we call beautiful to a universal measurement for beauty.

Let’s face it, everyone has a different look, everyone is unique and there is no set standard for beauty. If you don’t believe me, ask a group of people who their celebrity crush is — you’ll find out right away who goes for the athletic look, the music/artsy look, the country boy look or whatever else they’re interested in. If we consistently judge beauty on the outward appearance we will forever and always be disappointed.

When beauty is in the eye of the beholder we still compare, we judge, we create our own version of what we feel is acceptable, and when people question us we throw the phrase back at them. When beauty is the eye of the beholder, suddenly it’s no longer how we think beauty looks, but rather our ability to find beauty in everyone and everything.

No more comparison. No more judgements. Just straight authentic beauty.

This lesson really hit home for me in the last few months. When the guy I was head over heels for dropped me like a dime for another girl who I believed was skinnier and prettier. Personally, I thought she was beautiful and I told him that, but in an effort to cheer myself up, I started the comparison game.

“She may be skinnier, but you’re more athletic”

“She’s a total party girl — he’ll have fun taking her home to mama…” 

“Her cheek bones are extremely noticeable…so weird”

On and on they went — until I realized it really wasn’t making me feel any better. If anything it was making me more upset because I started to feel I was better yet I still lost. I was tearing down another girl who I didn’t even know just to hopefully give myself a glimmer of confidence in the situation. Was tearing her down really going to make me feel better? No, not really. We may think it will, but all it does is keeps our mind dwelling on the situation. It keeps us self-focused which more often than not leads to self-destruction.

Maybe it’s just me, but do people really enjoy being around the “mean girl”, the girl who constantly is judging others and pointing out their flaws just to make her and her friends feel better? Cuz I sure don’t… I  would rather spend our time around the girl who finds beauty in everything. Instead of seeing a girl at the mall and judging her for her outfit, she compliments the girls hair. Instead of making a negative statement about a couples relationship, she points out how cute they look together (and genuinely means it).

You see, when we start to point out the beauty in others it starts to reflect back in ourselves. God created us in His image (Gen. 1:27) — therefore we are ALL created beautifully. Where our beauty shines through is not in how we physically compare to others, but rather in how we lift others up. Are we constantly pointing out the beauty we see God’s created? Or are we dwelling on the negative the devil’s brought to our attention?

When we find the beauty in others we start to genuinely see the beauty in ourselves. We stop comparing ourselves, we stop trying to measure up to anything, and we start to fully believe and understand that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). We have a healthy confidence in who God has made us, so we don’t have a desire to tear anyone else down in an attempt to make us feel better. We can give out genuine compliments without any back minded thoughts. We live life so joyfully and freely because we start to admire the uniqueness of each individual.

Honestly, this goes so much deeper than just admiring peoples outward appearances. Have you ever talked to someone who is truly passionate about something, I find people become so alive and absolutely beautiful when they start talking about their passion. My friends are beautiful because they love on kids all day as their teachers, they’re beautiful because they care so much about the heartbreak in this world, they’re beautiful because they’re unique and don’t need to fit in. They’re beautiful because our Creator made them that way — no extras needed.

So go be beautiful — see the world the way God created it, beautiful, unique, and full of life. Build others up, learn to love yourself, not for how you measure up to others but for how uniquely you you are, spread love and joy and you will become the most beautiful person. If you don’t believe me, just try it — for one week challenge yourself every single time you see someone, to notice something beautiful about them. Their heart for others, their contagious laugh, their unique clothing style, whatever it is notice it and mention it. After a week or two of doing this, it will become your natural instinct. No more noticing someones outfit and automatically comparing it to your own. No more pointing out someone else’s flaws in order to build yourself up. Instead, you’ll notice others for how beautiful they are, you’ll be filled with more joy, and you’ll have a whole new perspective on life.

Beauty is the eye of the beholder — see the world beautifully and I promise you will become contagiously beautiful.

Freedom isn’t Free

Freedom isn’t free — a common known phrase often used around Memorial, Veterans and Independence Day. Why? Because we never want to downplay the sacrifice our soldiers and their families gave in order for us to obtain the freedom we have today.

This past Memorial Day I was preparing the devotional for the volleyball team I help coach and stumbled upon that phrase. We so often think of freedom only being in a political sense. Our Bill of Rights gives us the freedom to do a lot of things — speak, petition, vote, etc. We’re the “Land of the Free,” a place so many run to to find refuge from their oppression. But how true is that phrase when looking at our spiritual freedom?

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As a Christian, our spiritual freedom allows us to talk with our Creator, to be free from our past and the mistakes we’ve made. It allows us to be washed in an ocean of grace so we have the full assurance of our salvation. This freedom guides our future, allowing the best path to open for us if we fully follow what the Word says.

Freedom isn’t free. The freedom we’ve obtained through Christ came at a cost.  For America, men go off to war all the time, hoping to come home to their families again, but know there is a cost to keep our country free. For Christ followers, God sent His one and only Son, knowing full well Christ would be ridiculed, tortured, and crucified, so that we could obtain this freedom (John 3:16). He wanted us to live a life free from our sin stained flesh, much like our government wants us to live a life free from the restrictions of the lands they left.

If you’re new to the Christian faith or haven’t really explored it much you may think I’m crazy in saying Christians have “freedom” — since let’s be honest, many people feel Christianity can be restricting. Honestly, yes it can, but when you realize the restrictions are for your own good they soon become less restrictions and more guardrails, keeping you from going where you could hurt yourself.

Think of it this way — if our government didn’t have the laws in place and we just let anyone and everyone do what they wanted to do, our nation would be a disaster. People would be stealing when they saw fit, no taxes would ever be paid so our roads would be worse, we would start to live in a world of fear — is this freedom? No not really. Our freedom lies inside the guidelines our government gives. Through these guidelines we are able to achieve great things. Our homes are safe. Our highways are paved. Our lives are lived without real fear.

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Christ’s sacrifice gives us THE SAME sort of freedom. Let’s look at a hot topic: abstaining from sex until marriage (Eph. 5:5; Heb. 13:4). God puts this as a rule to protect us — nothing good ever comes from extramarital sex. Think about it, you’re connecting yourself with someone in the most intimate way possible — no one can know you more physically than someone who has sex with you (Gen. 2:24) — yet there is no promise they will stay with you, no matter what they say there is no guarantee of forever (because the Bible also says a marriage covenant is forever — but that’s a whole other topic). Has anyone really woken up from a one night stand and not had any guilt about it? Or gone through a breakup and regretted giving their all to the person? Is that freedom? Or are you becoming a slave to your sexual desires — only fulfilling the need because it’s there and it feels good, not because it really benefits your life? Maybe that’s just my mindset but I’ve seen too many friends deal with this to really think you can shake it all off as easily as people try to play if off like they can. Let me clear something up — I have nothing against sex at all, our God-given desire is to be known fully by another — but that doesn’t mean we need to be fully known by the entire high school baseball team. Understand? Look at this on the flip side — talk to any couple who waited until marriage to have sex and you’ll notice there is absolutely no regret in waiting. Their sex life means something because it’s just between them and doesn’t have their past in the bed with them causing them to compare. In both scenarios we have the freedom to choose. One choice leads to freedom from guilt and shame the other choice leads to momentary fulfillment but weight on our conscience.

I know it’s just one example and y’all might not agree, but when looking at freedom you will always have discrepancies as to what being “free” really looks like. A free spirit is usually someone who just goes with the flow, does whatever they feel, and doesn’t have a care in the world. Their perception of freedom might look way different than someone who needs a lot of structure in their life to feel fully themselves. God’s freedom allows us to be completely who we were made to be. Hebrews 12:1 says, “let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles us and let us run with perseverance the race that is marked out for us.” Being set free in Christ is releasing the weight of life from your shoulders. He’s got everything under control. You’re free from worry. Free from guilt. Free from shame. You’re given grace and forgiveness. Your life is a whole new blank slate every day — nothing — and I mean nothing — can separate you from His freedom once you’ve fully accepted it.

A part of the freedom Christ gave us was the freedom to choose. You may not believe in the whole Jesus thing — you might think you’re better on your own and making your own decisions — and that’s your choice. God isn’t forcing you to choose Him, He’s giving you the option, but when you fully understand the freedom you have in Christ, the gift of Heaven, the salvation from Hell, and the love you will receive, the choice becomes a whole lot easier.

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As I wrap this up, let me be clear on one thing — God’s freedom does not include freedom from hardship or suffering on earth. Our freedom to choose comes with consequences and unfortunately we don’t get to choose those consequences. Sometimes we have hardships that have nothing to do with our specific actions but rather are tied to the fact that evil is in the world. God doesn’t enjoy suffering, so please don’t ever think that God is wishing suffering upon you. Yes, Hell is a place full of suffering people are condemned to, but if you choose to reject God and all that He has offered to you there’s consequences for your choice, just like if you choose to commit a crime, there are consequences for your actions. I don’t wish that upon anyone — if it were up to me, everyone would come to love the Lord and experience the freedom I have found in Him. But unfortunately that isn’t everyone’s choice.

Freedom isn’t free but a life in Christ is, and it provides you a freedom you won’t ever regret. A freedom you never knew you wanted and a freedom you’ll want everyone to have.

A WingWoman’s Guide to Singleness

Every girl needs a good wing-woman, someone who can get along with the guys and introduce you to them. Someone who makes you look good and builds you up in a way no one else can. Over the years that’s been me. The girl who’s best buds with all the guys. The girl who never seemed to be able to get a guy, but got plenty of numbers to “give to my best friends.” And honestly it got quite annoying.

Unfortunately, it didn’t change in college or after college. My friends are all off getting married and I’m still as single as they come — surrounded by the guys interested in dating my friends and not me. The difference now, I’m actually ok with it.

You see, in high school and the beginning of college I constantly wanted to be the girl that people liked but didn’t know how. I kept trying to be who everyone said girls should be. I’d try to do makeup and fail — and I mean bright purple eyeshadow kinda fail. I’d try to dress up at school and got asked if I was a sub for the day because apparently I only knew how to dress professional and not cute. I felt out of place and didn’t know how to “fit in.”

Looking back now, I wonder why I tried so hard to fit in. I’m a “unique blend of everything” kinda girl. I love baseball probably a little too much. I wear heels one day and sweatpants the next. I’m the life of the party when I wanna be, but can curl up in the corner of the room with a book and be just fine. I’m more interested in building muscle than being a size 0. I love to sing and dance but get nervous to do so in front of people. I’m caring and compassionate yet firey when I’m upset. Really fancy dates freak me out and I normally don’t enjoy them at all. I can’t curl my own hair or do winged eyeliner to save my life, but that’s ok.

I’m everything listed and so much more, and over the years I’ve grown to be comfortable with it. To be real with you all, this past weekend I got sunburnt beyond belief, I literally was walking through the airport waddling like a duck. Then yesterday, two really cute guys came into my work and here I am chillin at my desk in a cute dress but my face is peeling like a snake — so attractive. But you know what, that’s who I am and that’s ok. I can laugh at myself and the misfortunate time to be sunburnt. I can own the awkward situations and use this time to build into myself.

Being single isn’t the end of the world. At times it feels like it, trust me I know. I make jokes to my friends all the time of how I’m destined to be the crazy cat lady all their kids call aunt Bri. But at the end of the day I’m thankful for this time and here’s why.

In the last year and a half as a mostly single girl I’ve been able to move to Richmond on my own, knowing no one, but making an amazing life here. I’ve been able to travel all over the U.S. with a national travel volleyball team. I’ve been able to learn more about myself through a rollercoaster relationship and the peace I find being out of it. I’ve been able to redefine what my dreams and aspirations are and make new goals on how to get there. I can go grab a drink with my guy friends, or go to a hockey game, or explore D.C., not worrying about what others may assume.

You might think since I mentioned I had been in a relationship in the last year my notes on singleness no longer mean anything, and to be honest I can’t blame you, because I used to think that same way. But the relationship I was in was so not normal or healthy in any way that I actually prefer to be single than to be back in the mess of that relationship.

Being single isn’t a curse, it’s a blessing in and of itself. When else are you going to be able to make sporadic decisions knowing you can actually follow through on all of them? Or spend so much time building into yourself so that you are fully comfortable being yourself with yourself, not needing anyone else’s opinions to be ok? Or better yet, spend so much time pouring into other people because you aren’t funneling all your God-given love to one person?

So stop throwing yourself a pity-party because your Prince Charming hasn’t arrived yet. God has it all under control and for now, He’s asked you to be single or to be in whatever stage of life he’s asked you to be in. Just do yourself a favor, don’t settle. Know what you’re worth, know who you are, and find someone who treasures you for all of that and so much more. You are worth someone’s time so don’t tell yourself you’re not. If someone’s broken your heart or killed your confidence, don’t let them ruin you anymore. Pick yourself back up and realize you’re better off without them because at the end of the day you are.

Go be uniquely you. Be the girl with the loud laugh or the baking obsession. Own the quirky little traits that make you everything you are. Because some day someone is going to fall in love with the girl in a baseball cap who wasn’t afraid to love herself.

 

 

Choosing Joy. Everyday.

I’ve had a hard time recently thinking of what my next blog post should be about. My last two were so open and vulnerable, so to follow I felt I had to have something drastic to say. I’ve come to the realization though, that everyday lessons are just as important as those drastic AH-HA type moments.

Each day we are faced with millions of choices.

Can I hit the snooze one more time?

What outfit should I wear? 

Starbucks for the flavor, or WaWa for the price….

These choices may seem simple or mundane; choices we make without giving more than a couple seconds thought to it. But what about our attitude choice, do we consciously choose our attitude day by day, moment by moment? It may sound weird to think about, but humor me. When was the last time you consciously chose to be happy, even if the situation didn’t necessarily warrant it? If it’s been a while, then today’s post might be just for you.

One of my favorite new found quotes is by Henri J.M. Nouwen,

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.

 

 

Joy is a choice we make EVERY DAY. There is ALWAYS something to be joyful about.

If you’re a real debby downer or are going through a difficult time in life you may disagree with me, but bear with me for a couple more minutes and I’ll prove to you why I think this is true.

John 15:9-14 states ⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command.”

Christ has filled us with His joy if we follow his command to love one another. Our choice is to love others and as we go about our day loving others, Christ’s joy will be full in us. It’s why at Christmas we sing “Joy to the world, the Lord has come” Because Jesus is our joy.

Now let me make a quick disclaimer, joy and happiness are NOT the same thing. Happiness is a feeling, joy is a state of being. Happiness is dictated by what happens to you. Joy is dictated by how you view yourself.

If you view yourself as a beautiful creation, made in the image of God, loved by God, saved by God, and given the ability to spend eternity with God, you will no doubt have the joy of the Lord in you. When you come to a full understanding of how precious God views you and how valuable you are in His sight, then there is reason for joy day after day. The Creator of the universe loves you unconditionally, despite our failure, despite our attitudes, despite anything and everything we do, God love us. That in and of itself is reason to have joy. Every. Single. Day.

Now let me be clear, this doesn’t mean we won’t have troubles or that days are going to be easy. It just means that in the midst of hardship, confusion, or desperation, we have a joy to cling to. When everything seems to be going wrong, we have the joy of the Lord to remind us in the end, everything will be right. And when everything is going right and life seems to be all rainbows and butterflies, we don’t have to worry about the rollercoaster of potential happenings, we can be secure in God’s joy, knowing whatever may happen our joy is complete in Him.

So how do we go about achieving this joy — by making a conscious choice EVERYDAY. By reading the Word of God and meditating on it, by filling our minds with the truth God has promised us. By loving others. When we’re selflessly loving and generously giving a joyful heart becomes natural. Seriously, have you ever seen a truly generous person with a bitter heart? Or witnessed someone who continually loved others have an ungrateful mentality? I sure haven’t. Because when you continually love and continually are authentically generous, you start to see yourself in a different light and start to see the materials you own and the time you have as mere tools instead of possessions you can’t let go.

If you’re failing to find joy everyday, try for one week to consciously change your mindset. If it’s a rainy day, thank God for the invention of umbrellas or the rain for the crops. If you don’t like the meal your mom made, find joy in the fact you have food on your table and a mom who prepared it for you. If you hate your job, be joyful you have one, find joy in the education you’ve earned to be able to apply for one, or consider it joy that we live in a country where you have the freedom to change jobs. Whatever it is you let steal your joy, try counteracting it. Try opening your mind to find the joy every day. And if all else fails, use this as a motivation to start memorizing God’s word, because I promise you, that will not disappoint.

Joy is a choice. So make it yours today.

True Vulnerability

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms.”

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about finding our identity in Christ. Yesterday I came to the full realization that although I wholeheartedly believe it’s true, I haven’t wholeheartedly accepted it.

As I write this weeks blog I realize sometimes you have to be completely vulnerable with yourself and others in order to bring about the change that is desperately needed. So please know as I write every word, I’m not asking for sympathy or pity likes, but rather hope that my complete vulnerability will not only start a change for me, but allow others to start the change they need as well.

For those of you that know me well, you might know where this all began. About 10 months ago I got into a relationship with a guy that I thought in so many ways was the perfect guy for me. I was excited about the relationship and felt I finally fit in with all my coupled friends. As the time went on, I started to ignore the red flags, making excuses on his behalf, why? because I was so excited to finally “fit in”, to finally have someone to talk about when all my girl friends were talking about their dates or weekend plans. When he and I were having a good day, I was on cloud nine, but when things weren’t going so well, I felt extremely low. To give him the grace and respect everyone deserves, I’ll spare the details, but after an extreme rollercoaster ride of emotions, things came to a complete abrupt halt in February. He had moved on and was happy with someone else, so why in April was I still struggling with the fact that things had ended? Why was I so desperately vying for the attention I knew he wasn’t going to give? And that’s when I realized where my identity fell.

So often I find myself striving to fit in or be accepted by others. Yes, I’m always myself and I truly believe I am, but where I seem to find my value has not been in what our Creator thinks of me, but rather what the created think. I busy my schedule to the point of exhaustion because I never want anyone to think I’m not willing to help them out. I cling to an unhealthy relationship because I find confidence in the skewed acceptance I felt. I build my identity on the things I can see and the perception I feel everyone expects me to be. But that’s so wrong.

The scriptures call us to surround ourselves with godly people and as I talked with my best friend last night, I was reminded just how important that is. As she dug down deep into my confidence issues, from when I got kicked out of my friend group in middle school because I wasn’t “cool” enough, to when a close friend replaced me with a new girl in town, to my weight struggles and acne flares, I realized my confidence issues stem from something so much greater than being rejected by a guy.

I so often find myself striving and striving to be accepted by others that I forget I’m already accepted by God. My senior year in college I worked 4 jobs, took 18 credit hours, was the President of an organization, and constantly created events for my friend group so we could have some great memories before we parted ways. I was EXHAUSTED to say the least, but in my eyes I was accepted. I was loved for all I did and I found confidence in knowing I could handle everything that was thrown on my plate, even if it came at expense to my well-being. How ironic that in my senior year at a Christian college I so easily walked straight into the trap and temptation of mistaken confidence.

Unfortunately, this carried over into my internship, relationships, career, and everything afterwards. I was confident in who I was until something went wrong. I was unable to see it as a circumstance that changed or a healthy failure I could learn from; instead I saw it as something wrong with me, something I was unable to be successful at, something that I strived to own and completely failed. I would look around at all my friends and their successful careers and relationships and soon I would be piling more stuff on my plate so I could “measure up” or have a valid excuse for why some things I so desperately wanted weren’t working out.

As I walked through the streets of Richmond, crying and noticing just how far off track I’d let myself get, I came face-to-face with the full acceptance of God’s grace. Our Creator does not make mistakes, He knew our struggles before we had them. He’s been working on this issue in my life for years and sometimes the things that tear us apart and completely break us (like a failed relationship) are our saving grace. They allow us to hit the bottom of OUR confidence and OUR efforts so we can recognize how desperately we NEED CHRIST.

This weekend is Easter weekend, and what better time to be reminded of how great our God is. To Him I am perfectly accepted just the way I am. No extra activities or boyfriend could make me more valuable to Him. No work accomplishments or smaller pant size could make me a better asset to His kingdom. In His eyes, I am everything I need to be because He created me with everything I needed. There is nothing I can do or say to change that. To Him I am worth sending His Son to die for me so that I may live eternally with Him.

So how do I wholeheartedly accept that fact? It’s easy for me to believe but hard for me to accept. I can read in the Bible everything God has called me and made me, but it’s so challenging to remember that when the world is telling you something completely different. But that’s just it. Why do I need to worry about what the world says? Why do I need to carry the weight of their approval? I don’t.

So starting today I’m taking back my life. I’m putting the word “no” back in my vocabulary and understanding that taking time for myself is extremely important. I’m cutting out the things and the people that cause anxiety and make me feel I’m not worth the value God has already given me. It’s a process and will take time, but as I grow in an understanding of God’s grace and acceptance, the confidence I need to get through the day will soon come from Him alone. God has equipped me with everything I need to accomplish the purpose He has set out for me. I am enough because God says I am and that’s the reality I chose to live in.

Becoming Selfless

Each month I try and pick a phrase, quote, or verse in which I want to make my focus for the month. Some examples of these quotes are:

“Every day may not be good, but there is something good in everyday.” – Alice Morse Earle

“But to those who are listening I say, ‘Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you.'” Luke 6: 27-28

This months quote has been one I’ve thrown around a lot but have decided to focus on because it can truly make an impact not only on the lives of others but on my life as well.

“BE SOMEBODY WHO MAKES EVERYBODY FEEL LIKE A SOMEBODY” – unknown

The core of this phrase can be backed up by so many biblical verses —

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves, looking not only to your own interest but also to the interest of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve others and give himself as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:28

“The king will answer them, ‘I can guarantee this truth: Whatever you did for one of my brothers or sisters, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40 (emphasis mine).

And so many more.

When I think about this months quote and how it can influence others I realize the core of myself and everyone is to be selfish. We are born with selfish ambitions, how many toddlers do we hear scream “MINE!” or get upset when they have to share?

But what if we changed that? What if we went about our day everyday striving to make the people around us feel as if they mattered and they were important, putting others first, no matter their social status, the benefits they can or cannot give us, but simply seeing them as a person created and loved by God, worthy of our attention. Would it make a difference in our lives? It should.

“But to mean it when I say that I want my life to count for His glory is to drive a stake through the heart of self – a painful and determined dying to me that must be a part of every day I live.”
― Louie Giglio

If we are truly striving every day to make our lives count for the Kingdom of God, then why do we pick and choose who we are selfless too? Why do we create social statuses in our mind of who we can and cannot associate with? Why do we lose our temper with certain people instead of being patient and realizing they are made in the image of God?

Being selfless isn’t easy, it can be tiring and draining, but if everyone is being selfless, then in turn everyone is also encouraging and pouring into people. I pour into you, you pour into her, she pours into me, and in the end we’ve all given, but we’ve also all received. Christ did not give us our gifts and our blessings so that we could become proud and disregard other people. He gave us our gifts, talents, financial blessings, etc. so that we could pour into the people around us and in turn serve His Kingdom more fully.

So this week I challenge you to “be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.” That man on the corner, the cashier at the store, the server at the restaurant, whoever it is, be the light of Christ to them. Show them God’s love and remind them they are important and they do have value, thank them for serving you and in turn go do the same for someone else. Nobody should ever feel they are disregarded, so be a voice of love, a smile as you pass by, or a listening ear when it’s needed. Because our greatest purpose is to serve Christ and how do we do that? By loving His people.

“He must become greater and I must become less.” John 3:30