The Journey Through Change

Change isn’t always easy. Yes some people thrive off change, the new excitements, the new memories, and the chance to restart wherever you go. Others hate change, it causes anxiety, stress, and the thought of having to restart somewhere new seems like the end of the world. For me, I’m somewhere in the middle. I love to meet new people, make new friends, and have a clean slate to start from, but the thought of leaving the people I’ve met and come to love in the places I’ve lived cause extreme heartbreak.

This past year and a half I’ve lived in Richmond, VA — I’m not gonna lie, it’s been an extremely challenging year and a half. I’ve had two failed relationships, left an internship for a job that was different than I originally thought, went through a cycle of friendships before I was able to settle in, and even transitioned churches because I just didn’t feel at home. But among all those challenges I’ve met some of the most incredible people, friends who poured into me, challenged me, and helped me grow through the process. I’ve gotten to know a group of volleyball girls who I’ve grown to love spending time with and investing in, making this move more difficult than I originally thought.

As I get ready to move I think through the past moves I’ve made in my life and what’s helped me transition well. Through every up and down, every place I’ve lived, I realize it’s always about the people. The people is what makes moving hard but it’s also what makes moving exciting. A year and a half ago, I didn’t know any of the people I’ve grown to love here in RVA even existed. A year and a half ago, Richmond was just a place on the map we learned about in history class. Now it’s a place that will always have a piece of my heart, not because the city was so amazing, but because of the people who took time to invest in a midwestern girl who was starting off on her own.

God calls us to love people — yes the city is important, the structures are cool, and the sports are fun, but the people are what makes a place purposeful. Everything we are called to do in a city revolves around loving the people of that city. As I’ve learned that, I’ve started to understand that if God calls me to move, I need not be upset or frustrated. He’s calling me to love the city/country/state he’s put me in until he calls me to move and love someplace else. This home is temporary, our real home is in Heaven and when the earth becomes a mere place to make relationships geared towards Christ and not a possession to hold onto, it can completely shift our perspective on change from one of fear and uncertainty to one of joy and excitement.

Whenever I start to get really upset about the changes happening around me, or am chillin in my room crying because of the people I’m leaving, I’m reminded of the journey and life of Paul. Paul lived his life on the road. We get to experience and learn so much through his letters, but do you ever sit and think about the fact that the reason he had to write letters was because he wasn’t with the people in person? Paul constantly reminds the churches of his love for them, read any of his letters (the 13 Epistles) and you’ll see his unique investment to each group of people making up the church in that city. Paul missed the friends he made along the way, but it never stopped him from pursuing the life God had called him too. He didn’t resist change or resent God for making him leave again, but instead he used each and every opportunity to make an impact on the place he was in. He kept in touch with the people he left and invested in the people he was with. It allowed him to make an impact that God has continued to use through today. If Paul had told God “No, I’m not moving again, I like these friends here too much” then we might never have had the “Roman Road” or the book of Ephesians (one of my personal favorites). Instead, Paul wrote in Philippians 2:17, “But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice of service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all.” Through physical suffering and emotional pain, through shipwrecks, sickness, loss of friends, and years of traveling, Paul found unrelenting strength through his faith.

As I move and am heartbroken to leave the people of RVA, I’m challenged and excited to invest in the people of Ada, MI. I will have the opportunity to be back with my immediate and extended family and given the time to invest in those relationships. I have college friends I’ll get to reconnect with, and high school friends I’ll be closer too. There’s a church I’ve been following from afar who I’m excited to finally call home. Yes I’m leaving a wonderful group of people, friends who’ve become family, and volleyball girls that will forever be like my little sisters, but God’s shown me both through life and through scripture that He is with us wherever we go. At times it might not be clear as to why our path is leading where it is, as I’m sure Paul was a little confused at times while sitting in jail or experiencing another shipwreck, but God never fails. He will come through no matter what the change is we’re facing.

So as I leave this place I rejoice in the memories, learn from the pain, and thank God for the opportunity to meet the people I have. And for as long as I live I will stand by the words of Isaiah 6:8:

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Contagiously Beautiful

Scrolling through Instagram you pass by hundreds of pictures. Proms, graduations, summer vacations, perfect couples, flawless selfies, you name it, it’s there. At first it’s a harmless scroll, killing time while you wait for the next thing in your day. But then…. the “I wish..” downward spiral begins.

“I wish my hair looked as good as hers”

“I wish I had a boyfriend as good as hers, or even a boyfriend at all.”

“I wish I had a body that was summer ready all the time like her.”

“I wish….”

Whatever you “wish” you start comparing to your life, and not only comparing, but criticizing. Before you know it you’re harmless time killer is now a mood killer and an attitude bringer.

We all do this — maybe it’s not on Instagram and maybe it’s not as obvious but we do it. We’re human, we compare, we find flaws, and we hone in on those, forgetting how beautifully and wonderfully made we are.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” but honestly, that’s only one side of beauty — it’s how we, as the beholder, see it. What if we changed the phrase to “beauty IS the eye of the beholder”. By taking out the “in” we change the phrase from us having our own opinions and excuses for what we call beautiful to a universal measurement for beauty.

Let’s face it, everyone has a different look, everyone is unique and there is no set standard for beauty. If you don’t believe me, ask a group of people who their celebrity crush is — you’ll find out right away who goes for the athletic look, the music/artsy look, the country boy look or whatever else they’re interested in. If we consistently judge beauty on the outward appearance we will forever and always be disappointed.

When beauty is in the eye of the beholder we still compare, we judge, we create our own version of what we feel is acceptable, and when people question us we throw the phrase back at them. When beauty is the eye of the beholder, suddenly it’s no longer how we think beauty looks, but rather our ability to find beauty in everyone and everything.

No more comparison. No more judgements. Just straight authentic beauty.

This lesson really hit home for me in the last few months. When the guy I was head over heels for dropped me like a dime for another girl who I believed was skinnier and prettier. Personally, I thought she was beautiful and I told him that, but in an effort to cheer myself up, I started the comparison game.

“She may be skinnier, but you’re more athletic”

“She’s a total party girl — he’ll have fun taking her home to mama…” 

“Her cheek bones are extremely noticeable…so weird”

On and on they went — until I realized it really wasn’t making me feel any better. If anything it was making me more upset because I started to feel I was better yet I still lost. I was tearing down another girl who I didn’t even know just to hopefully give myself a glimmer of confidence in the situation. Was tearing her down really going to make me feel better? No, not really. We may think it will, but all it does is keeps our mind dwelling on the situation. It keeps us self-focused which more often than not leads to self-destruction.

Maybe it’s just me, but do people really enjoy being around the “mean girl”, the girl who constantly is judging others and pointing out their flaws just to make her and her friends feel better? Cuz I sure don’t… I  would rather spend our time around the girl who finds beauty in everything. Instead of seeing a girl at the mall and judging her for her outfit, she compliments the girls hair. Instead of making a negative statement about a couples relationship, she points out how cute they look together (and genuinely means it).

You see, when we start to point out the beauty in others it starts to reflect back in ourselves. God created us in His image (Gen. 1:27) — therefore we are ALL created beautifully. Where our beauty shines through is not in how we physically compare to others, but rather in how we lift others up. Are we constantly pointing out the beauty we see God’s created? Or are we dwelling on the negative the devil’s brought to our attention?

When we find the beauty in others we start to genuinely see the beauty in ourselves. We stop comparing ourselves, we stop trying to measure up to anything, and we start to fully believe and understand that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). We have a healthy confidence in who God has made us, so we don’t have a desire to tear anyone else down in an attempt to make us feel better. We can give out genuine compliments without any back minded thoughts. We live life so joyfully and freely because we start to admire the uniqueness of each individual.

Honestly, this goes so much deeper than just admiring peoples outward appearances. Have you ever talked to someone who is truly passionate about something, I find people become so alive and absolutely beautiful when they start talking about their passion. My friends are beautiful because they love on kids all day as their teachers, they’re beautiful because they care so much about the heartbreak in this world, they’re beautiful because they’re unique and don’t need to fit in. They’re beautiful because our Creator made them that way — no extras needed.

So go be beautiful — see the world the way God created it, beautiful, unique, and full of life. Build others up, learn to love yourself, not for how you measure up to others but for how uniquely you you are, spread love and joy and you will become the most beautiful person. If you don’t believe me, just try it — for one week challenge yourself every single time you see someone, to notice something beautiful about them. Their heart for others, their contagious laugh, their unique clothing style, whatever it is notice it and mention it. After a week or two of doing this, it will become your natural instinct. No more noticing someones outfit and automatically comparing it to your own. No more pointing out someone else’s flaws in order to build yourself up. Instead, you’ll notice others for how beautiful they are, you’ll be filled with more joy, and you’ll have a whole new perspective on life.

Beauty is the eye of the beholder — see the world beautifully and I promise you will become contagiously beautiful.

Finding Amazement

Amazement : An overwhelming feeling of surprise or astonishment

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This past weekend I flew to Indianapolis for one of my dearest friends weddings. While on my flight back, I ended up sitting next to a young boy who was traveling alone. I don’t know if this was his first flight but during takeoff, I couldn’t help but notice how he stared out the window in amazement while so many other passengers were already engrossed in their work or movies.

It got me thinking — the first time people fly they go through a wide range of emotions. Most are completely amazed by the airplanes ability to hold all the people, luggage, and machinery it takes to operate, yet still fly so easily. Some have hesitations, but chose to trust the ability of the plane, the past planes they’ve seen, and the testimonies of people enough to get on the plane. Some are excited to see the world in a whole new light, and any fear they may have had begins to slip away.

Yet, overtime all of these emotions seem to level out. People who travel a lot lose the amazement of flight. They no longer stare out the window mesmerized by the takeoff and landing. They don’t admire the mountains, oceans, cities, fields, and millions of people they fly over. They simply pull out their book, put in their headphones, or start their work the minute they sit in their super small seat. Some even close the window, completely shutting out the view. They’re still trusting the plane to get them from place A to B but are no longer excited for the journey, instead they’re simply there, using the plane for a means to get to their end.

As I thought through this, I couldn’t help but notice how it not only happens to our flights, but more importantly, it happens to our faith. When starting off, new Christ followers are on fire for God. So excited about the journey ahead, maybe slightly fearful but irregardless they trust the ability of our Creator to get them to where they’re going. They stand amazed as they see the world in a whole new light, admiring what God has created and the difference His presence makes in their life. But as time goes on and they become more comfortable in their faith, life happens, and the church experience is no longer new, they become unamazed. Simply going through the motions each day — still trusting God, but no longer enjoying His journey fully — just simply getting through the ride.

I’ll be honest, it’s easy for me to be amazed by God when I’m in a new place. Sitting on a mountain side in California a couple weeks ago, there was no prompting needed, I could easily dwell on the amazing ability of our Creator and the magnificent world He has made. But in the mundane of daily activities? I mean how do you find time to be amazed by God when you’re drowning in work or running from one activity to the next? When at the end of the day the only thing that amazes you is how great your bed feels when you know you can fully give yourself into sleep?

Truthfully, I’ve found it’s not hard, it just takes effort and the ability to be still. You see, on the mountaintop in Cali I’m by myself, no cell service, no interruptions, no distractions, just simply me and the amazing creation around. At home, I have work, practice, friends, Netflix, and a host of other distractions. In both places, I have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside me. In both places, I have the ability to talk to God, but in one place I have the desire and amazement, in the other I have distractions and deterrents.

I’m guessing for you, it’s the same way — in the quiet of your life, you’re able to focus on God and His amazing nature, but as soon as your day begins He becomes a mere item crossed off your list instead of the mindset guiding your thoughts. With the Holy Spirit dwelling inside us, we have an irreplaceable gift — literally God lives IN us… that alone should make us live constantly amazed.

Hebrews 12:1 states, “Since we are surrounded by such a great crowd of witnesses let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles us and let us run with perseverance the race that is marked out for us.”

When was the last time you “threw off everything that hindered you?” Don’t misunderstand this, this isn’t asking when was the last time you got rid of a bad sinful habit or repented of your sins but with the distinction made, the writer is separating what hinders you from what entangles you. Both keep you from spending time with God and reaching His full potential for your life, but our hinderances don’t have to be sinful. Maybe one of yours is binge watching a season or show on Netflix — although not sinful, is it helping you “run with perseverance the race that is marked out for you?” Or maybe your job is so overwhelming that it constantly consumes your mind — again not sinful, but it’s keeping you from spending time with God. So what are your hinderances in life?

Now let’s be real — for some people (like myself) your schedule always seems to fill up, whether it be with every church activity or a wide range of interests, you’re never sitting still. I’m not suggesting you change your entire lifestyle, but rather re-learn to be amazed. Throw off a few hinderances so you have time to think as you go from one place to another — turn off the music and enjoy the drive home. Notice the cute houses or the busy street — marvel at the fact that every single person you pass, God knows indefinitely. Admire the fact that each person, tree, dog, or whatever you pass was created uniquely by God’s design — no two things look exactly alike. Or turn on the radio and appreciate God’s gift of music and the people He’s chosen to give the gift too.

Choosing to be amazed isn’t difficult but so often we bog ourselves down with so much stuff, we don’t give our minds time to dwell in amazement. We put God as an item on our to-do list: morning quiet time √ prayer before dinner √ said goodnight grace √  and then fill our day with every other activity we can think of.

Instead why don’t we try threading God throughout our day. Teaching our minds to notice the amazing world He has blessed us with. Spending time reading His scripture to learn, instead of to check it off our list before rushing off to answer emails. Seeing each interaction we have as not just another interaction at work, but realizing the person in front of you or on the phone with you is a unique individual created by God, loved by God, and known by God.

I challenge you to change your mindset, be like the boy on the plane, sitting in amazement even if nothing is new. Run the race God has for you, not the busy race the world is telling you to run. Enjoy the small moments. Thank God for the unexpected blessings. Notice the sunny day, love the uniqueness of those around you and pray for a heart of amazement.

Throw off the hinderances, dwell in the Spirit, and I promise you’ll be amazed by our Creator.

Freedom isn’t Free

Freedom isn’t free — a common known phrase often used around Memorial, Veterans and Independence Day. Why? Because we never want to downplay the sacrifice our soldiers and their families gave in order for us to obtain the freedom we have today.

This past Memorial Day I was preparing the devotional for the volleyball team I help coach and stumbled upon that phrase. We so often think of freedom only being in a political sense. Our Bill of Rights gives us the freedom to do a lot of things — speak, petition, vote, etc. We’re the “Land of the Free,” a place so many run to to find refuge from their oppression. But how true is that phrase when looking at our spiritual freedom?

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As a Christian, our spiritual freedom allows us to talk with our Creator, to be free from our past and the mistakes we’ve made. It allows us to be washed in an ocean of grace so we have the full assurance of our salvation. This freedom guides our future, allowing the best path to open for us if we fully follow what the Word says.

Freedom isn’t free. The freedom we’ve obtained through Christ came at a cost.  For America, men go off to war all the time, hoping to come home to their families again, but know there is a cost to keep our country free. For Christ followers, God sent His one and only Son, knowing full well Christ would be ridiculed, tortured, and crucified, so that we could obtain this freedom (John 3:16). He wanted us to live a life free from our sin stained flesh, much like our government wants us to live a life free from the restrictions of the lands they left.

If you’re new to the Christian faith or haven’t really explored it much you may think I’m crazy in saying Christians have “freedom” — since let’s be honest, many people feel Christianity can be restricting. Honestly, yes it can, but when you realize the restrictions are for your own good they soon become less restrictions and more guardrails, keeping you from going where you could hurt yourself.

Think of it this way — if our government didn’t have the laws in place and we just let anyone and everyone do what they wanted to do, our nation would be a disaster. People would be stealing when they saw fit, no taxes would ever be paid so our roads would be worse, we would start to live in a world of fear — is this freedom? No not really. Our freedom lies inside the guidelines our government gives. Through these guidelines we are able to achieve great things. Our homes are safe. Our highways are paved. Our lives are lived without real fear.

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Christ’s sacrifice gives us THE SAME sort of freedom. Let’s look at a hot topic: abstaining from sex until marriage (Eph. 5:5; Heb. 13:4). God puts this as a rule to protect us — nothing good ever comes from extramarital sex. Think about it, you’re connecting yourself with someone in the most intimate way possible — no one can know you more physically than someone who has sex with you (Gen. 2:24) — yet there is no promise they will stay with you, no matter what they say there is no guarantee of forever (because the Bible also says a marriage covenant is forever — but that’s a whole other topic). Has anyone really woken up from a one night stand and not had any guilt about it? Or gone through a breakup and regretted giving their all to the person? Is that freedom? Or are you becoming a slave to your sexual desires — only fulfilling the need because it’s there and it feels good, not because it really benefits your life? Maybe that’s just my mindset but I’ve seen too many friends deal with this to really think you can shake it all off as easily as people try to play if off like they can. Let me clear something up — I have nothing against sex at all, our God-given desire is to be known fully by another — but that doesn’t mean we need to be fully known by the entire high school baseball team. Understand? Look at this on the flip side — talk to any couple who waited until marriage to have sex and you’ll notice there is absolutely no regret in waiting. Their sex life means something because it’s just between them and doesn’t have their past in the bed with them causing them to compare. In both scenarios we have the freedom to choose. One choice leads to freedom from guilt and shame the other choice leads to momentary fulfillment but weight on our conscience.

I know it’s just one example and y’all might not agree, but when looking at freedom you will always have discrepancies as to what being “free” really looks like. A free spirit is usually someone who just goes with the flow, does whatever they feel, and doesn’t have a care in the world. Their perception of freedom might look way different than someone who needs a lot of structure in their life to feel fully themselves. God’s freedom allows us to be completely who we were made to be. Hebrews 12:1 says, “let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles us and let us run with perseverance the race that is marked out for us.” Being set free in Christ is releasing the weight of life from your shoulders. He’s got everything under control. You’re free from worry. Free from guilt. Free from shame. You’re given grace and forgiveness. Your life is a whole new blank slate every day — nothing — and I mean nothing — can separate you from His freedom once you’ve fully accepted it.

A part of the freedom Christ gave us was the freedom to choose. You may not believe in the whole Jesus thing — you might think you’re better on your own and making your own decisions — and that’s your choice. God isn’t forcing you to choose Him, He’s giving you the option, but when you fully understand the freedom you have in Christ, the gift of Heaven, the salvation from Hell, and the love you will receive, the choice becomes a whole lot easier.

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As I wrap this up, let me be clear on one thing — God’s freedom does not include freedom from hardship or suffering on earth. Our freedom to choose comes with consequences and unfortunately we don’t get to choose those consequences. Sometimes we have hardships that have nothing to do with our specific actions but rather are tied to the fact that evil is in the world. God doesn’t enjoy suffering, so please don’t ever think that God is wishing suffering upon you. Yes, Hell is a place full of suffering people are condemned to, but if you choose to reject God and all that He has offered to you there’s consequences for your choice, just like if you choose to commit a crime, there are consequences for your actions. I don’t wish that upon anyone — if it were up to me, everyone would come to love the Lord and experience the freedom I have found in Him. But unfortunately that isn’t everyone’s choice.

Freedom isn’t free but a life in Christ is, and it provides you a freedom you won’t ever regret. A freedom you never knew you wanted and a freedom you’ll want everyone to have.